Indications of Infidelity: Simple Hints that Give Away a Cheater
If your spouse is an expert liar or well-trained actor, he or she might easily deceive you for the duration of the illicit affair. You will remain happy and content at home while your partner is out having fun like you haven't had since high school. Well, it's more likely that your spouse will embark on this affair tentatively or even reluctantly, and with a great deal of anxiety. It's more likely that he or she is not a trained actor, and as such, will probably leave clues.
There are the traditional clues - smell of perfume, lipstick on the collar, etc. - but there are other, more subtle hints at infidelity. Here are a few that you might want to study, particularly if your intuition is already telling you to me weary and watch for signs.
The first set of clues could be placed under the heading "Self Image." These include several very subtle changes, and some that aren't so subtle. All of them could have a perfectly reasonable explanation, but these hints aren't about hard evidence. These hints are about supporting your suspicions with "reasonable doubt." If he starts to work out when he hasn't lifted weights in years, or if he starts doing sit-ups out of the blue, it isn't enough to warrant a divorce, but it is enough to look a little deeper.
Also under the self-image category is a sudden change in clothing or dress habits. An unprompted shopping trip is nothing to worry about, but if he goes from Faded Glory jeans to a $500 suit in the span of a week, something is clearly wrong. The change may be more subtle, however, and so you should ask in as unprovoking a way as possible, "why the sudden change?" If he is happy to tell you that he is pushing for a promotion, or he's having a midlife crisis - that's great! But be particularly weary if he becomes defensive and angry. If he tells you it's none of your business. Firstly, if you're partners in life and in love, it absolutely is your business. Secondly, it's a sign that he has something to hide.
This last point is a good segue into the next set of hints that might give away a cheater: a change in attitude. Suddenly becoming short-tempered, defensive, or particularly secretive about where he goes or when, are all signs that he has something to hide. Watch out for these changes, as they might also signal the beginning of a personality shift that could lead to a real emotional split, even if he isn't cheating.
Also on the list of personality changes might be a sudden change in the type of music he listens to. This is a well-known change, and one that you probably remember from high school or college. When that good-looking guy made you a tape of his favorite bands, listening to those bands was a way of getting to know him. This might also be the case with your cheating spouse. Additionally, the likelihood is good that he is cheating on you with a younger woman. Listening to new music - particularly music of a younger generation - will help him to relate and to feel young himself.
Of course, you should also consider looking for the old stand-byes, like lipstick on the color and the smell of perfume, but more subtle hints about infidelity are dropped even more often. Keep your eyes open and be aware.