Suspicions of Spousal Infidelity
After living with a spouse, you have a relatively good idea about that person. However, when a spouse begins to cheat, at first the obvious signs may be so subtle that you simply miss them. As time goes on, you know something is going on but your spouse swears everything is fine. Then, you begin to question yourself, asking if you are just being insecure. Does this sound familiar - if so, you need to know that you are not the only person with a cheating spouse!
The ramifications of spousal infidelity reach far beyond just everyday life. For instance, children, other family members, friends, neighbors, everyone is affected. Then, you also find that physical and mental health is put at risk from stress. The bottom line is that suspecting you have a cheating spouse is devastating news. Obviously, you married your spouse believing you would live a long, happy life together but now, everything has been turned upside down.
For starters, if you believe your spouse is involved with infidelity, you want to be careful in how the subject is approached. Instead of just asking, you should take time to calm yourself down and then start collecting evidence. While this might feel deceitful, this is important. You certainly do not want to accuse your husband or wife of having an extra marital affair without firm evidence. Therefore, you need to search to see if you can find evidence of phone numbers, gifts, emails, and other items first.
The most important thing is that you never want to put yourself in a position of harm. Sometimes, confronting a spouse about cheating could lead to an argument and the spouse becoming highly defensive. When this you might be stirring up something bigger than you can handle, especially if you have a spouse with aggressive tendencies. Therefore, before you do anything, take his or her violent behavior past into consideration and never put you or children at risk.
One option for catching a cheating spouse if you suspect emails are being exchanged is with internet software. Just remember that while finding out if your husband or wife is cheating is not hard, things may not always be what they seem. Therefore, even when you gather clues, do not make a final determination based on this alone. Instead, you need cold, hard facts, especially if you have decided that divorce is in the future.
Okay, so when it comes to spousal infidelity and the computer, you would look for things such as him or her setting up a new email account but not telling you. In addition, if you find that your spouse now leaves the house every time looking, and smelling clean and fresh, especially when running an errand to the hardware or grocery store. Then, if your spouse suddenly decides the gym is home away from home or if your spouse purchases a cell phone, again not telling you.
Again, do not blow a good marriage on clues but facts alone. After all, there could be viable reasons your spouse has set up a new email account or purchased a new cell phone so never jump to conclusions. If your suspicions are looking like an affair is happening then you have options for verifying those suspicions with things like spy passwords, keyword logger, or screen snapshots. In fact, spy software has become big business for this very reason. Designed to monitor your computer but without anyone knowing, you can find out by having documented logs sent to you via email.
With this type of software, anything your spouse is doing online would be documented to include email, both incoming and outgoing, along with websites visited. In addition, spy software would include keystrokes, which would include his or her logon information and password for mail and instant messaging, online chat conversations, and some spy software can even take a screen snapshot so if your spouse is visiting pornographic websites or exchanging photos with someone, you would know and see.
Another option if you have suspicions of spousal infidelity is anonymous email. In this case, your spouse would be sent an anonymous email warning him or her. Additionally, you can pretend to be someone else, such as the person to whom your spouse is cheating with, advising him or her to send email only to the anonymous email. Just remember that you would need to use an internet service provider who guarantees your identity protection.
Remember, finding your spouse is cheating is devastating, leaving you an emotional wreck but doing nothing about it could be worse. It boils down to you accepting the pain and pretending as if nothing were happening or taking control by empowering yourself with the truth. Obviously, if you find out that spousal infidelity is happening, you will need to make some serious decisions. However, being armed with the truth gives you the best chance to make the right decision.